2006-02-01 - 11:52 a.m.
Recounting my spectacular stumble in Germany was so much fun that I thought I should talk about some other memorable falls. These next ones are from the summer of 2004, while I was becoming visibly disabled. At that time, I didn�t yet consciously acknowledge the extent to which I was getting worse physically. Hence, I hadn�t figured out how to move within my limitations (I generally refused to admit that I even had any).
Essentially, I was trying to squeeze into a self that no longer fit, trying to do things in the way I�d always known (well, just walk from point A to point B) but no longer worked. There was also probably a certain amount of misapplied machismo (as I�ve alluded to before) � you can�t hold me back! So I was just doing a lot of things that I really shouldn�t have been to prove I was a tough guy or something (prove to who?).
Anyway, in like August, I was going to a gathering organized by MoveOn to watch a documentary about Fox News and its inanity. It was taking place at a dorm or fraternity house on Brown�s Wriston Quad. I first met my friend Josh at his house on Angell St., a few blocks north of Wriston. I had gone there from a library a few blocks away and I was already getting pretty off-balance from the walking. Nonetheless, I decided to hoof it down to Wriston. Can�t keep me down.
It looked like it was about to rain, but I hobbled around the corner with my cane and Josh warning me to take it easy. I made it about halfway before completely losing my balance and keeling over. Josh sort of tackled me so I fell into some grass, instead of the concrete sidewalk. Other people walking near us on the street stopped and looked extremely alarmed. From where I�d fallen on the ground, I waved in a friendly way, trying to allay their concerns.
When I stood back up and dusted off, Josh asked if he should get his car to drive me the rest of the way. I said this seemed ridiculous, as it was only a block and a half off. I marched forward and made it about a hundred feet before collapsing again. Oof. Josh sat me down on a low wall next to the sidewalk and went back to get his car. I waited kind of in a daze. What the hell was happening to me? I felt like I�d hit the point of no return and could barely move now.
While I was sitting on the wall waiting for Josh�s car, it started to pour. I slid along to under a tree, but by the time he drove up I was soaked. Of course, the whole surrounding environment was now wet and slippery, but at the time I didn�t really consider this factor. We drove all of a block and a half and Josh let me out by an entrance to the quad. The quad is at a higher level than the street at this point and the entrance had a number of steps up and in. I figured I should wait for backup before tackling the stairs.
The rain had let up for a minute, although the ground was still wet and slippery. But when Josh came by, I went up the steps pretty easily (I�ve found that going up is actually easier than going down, as long as there�s a handrail). Now all I had to do to get to the place was go down a few hundred feet of walkways. Shouldn�t be a problem; I could do this. I nodded at Josh and started forward.
About twenty feet on, I hit a particularly wet spot or something and my feet skidded out. I pitched forward quite spectacularly. I was falling slightly off the concrete path onto some softer dirt. But on my way down I twisted around (I guess I was learning to fall on my back) and absolutely smashed the back of my head behind the ear on a metal railing. A passing girl from the Brown summer high school program saw it and gasped, horrified. Josh was speechless. I slowly sat up where I had landed and blinked at the high school girl in a stunned daze.
�That kind of hurt.�
�Uhm yeah, it looked it. Should I call an ambulance or something?�
�No thanks, I�ll be okay. Josh, can you find my glasses? I think they flew off.�
He handed me my glasses and cane. �Geoff, you have blood running down your neck from behind your ear. Lets go to a doctor.�
�No, it�s Sunday. They won�t be in. I�ll be all right. Lets go.�
Josh looked wary, but continued with me to our destination. I walked slowly and carefully, but my head didn�t hurt too much anymore. It was still sort of throbbing, though. We came to the open door and went into the front hallway. A few people were there, including a student who�d been my teaching assistant for a class the previous spring.
�Hi. Oh hey, Adam. Is this where the Fox News documentary is?�
�Uh. Yeah, right in that room where all the people are sitting. Uh, are you all right?�
I guess my face was covered in dirt and blood. Josh was shaking his head.
�Oh yes, I�m fine. Can I use your bathroom?�
�Uh. Sure.�
I washed up as best I could. The gash behind my ear seemed to have clotted up. I went back into the room with the TV. Most people were sitting on the floor, but Josh had snagged a chair and gave his seat to me. They started the documentary. I have no idea about anything in it. I stared glassily throughout it. I wondered dreamily if I had a concussion.
I can�t remember how I got home afterwards. I called my sister to tell her what had happened and asked her to call me every hour to make sure I wasn�t unconscious (and to call the Brown emergency number if I didn�t answer). Then I passed out asleep, waking groggily every hour to answer the phone.
Good times, good times.
� 2006 Geoff Gladstone
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