2006-09-26 - 11:38 a.m.
So, I�m trying to bank my sperm. Chemotherapy, which I�ve had a lot of, often makes you infertile. I didn�t realize this when I first went on treatment. When I later found out this was the case, I expressed shock and horror to a nurse at the Boston MS center. She sympathized, but pointed out that, after all, I�d signed a consent form saying I understood the risks involved. That may indeed be true, but I explained that I was a little distraught when I first started chemo, having only recently found out I�d come down with a serious degenerative illness. I probably would have signed anything put in front of me!
I went off chemotherapy after that, temporarily. I hoped the rest from toxic chemicals would give my reproductive powers a chance to recoup. I mean, never underestimate the power to conceive. As we used to say in sixth grade biology:
The purpose of life �
That�s really all you have to do. Surely my reproductive system would rise above.
On Friday I went to a fertility specialist. It was surprisingly reassuring. The doctor had an excellent bedside manner. He poked around a bit down there and told me to relax. Although he couldn�t say definitively at this point, he felt there was a very good chance I had viable sperm. There were several different ways to harvest it. (I don�t really feel comfortable going into detail about this, but let�s just say I can�t give sperm the old fashioned way.) Did I want to conceive with it now? I said that Nya (who was with me) and I wanted to wait until after we were married. Maybe for some time.
Hopefully not never. See, Nya (who obviously has a considerable role in this) has said that she sometimes feels like she spends a lot of time just dealing with me. Adding a baby to the mix seems like an insurmountable practical complication at this point. It hurts to hear that, a lot when I really think about it. But maybe she�s quite right. I�m in particularly bad shape now, having been off chemo, off any kind of MS treatment for over nine months. Just in the last few weeks I�ve been especially bad, falling all over the place. As much as I want a kid, I worry about my ability to help take care of it and I certainly don�t want to make Nya�s life any harder.
Still, I very much want the option to procreate. Other people do it all the time, even some who probably shouldn�t. I have a blood test to further judge my chances scheduled for next week. Wish me luck.
� 2006 Geoff Gladstone
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