2006-10-26 - 11:25 a.m.
Last week, I had a test to check on my fertility viability. It was a sperm test and I had to produce a sample at the lab. Now, for most guys this wouldn�t be much of a problem, they would just� uhm. Well, you know. Unfortunately, I�m not most guys and I can�t produce sperm the old-fashioned way.
However, I can still do it. It just takes a somewhat convoluted process (I�m afraid I�m really not comfortable getting into the details) and Nya�s cooperation. While perhaps untraditional, it�s still a lot of fun of course (but I hope you know about this). Okay look, I�ll admit: for a long time, I didn�t think I could do this anymore.
For a couple of years actually. Not that my libido went away, not that I wanted any less. I just couldn�t close the deal (so to speak). Physical romance wasn�t any less exciting and certainly I still got a lot out of bringing my partner pleasure. But that seemed to be it for me. I had resigned myself to closing that book and not looking back.
It turned out it took the right partner. It turned out that (like any great sex) it took patience, a sense of humor, and a lot of communication. I once thought it was gone forever; now, it�s more special every time it happens. Thank you always, Nya, for showing me that this aspect of life is still possible (and for making it so fun!).
So Nya and I went to have sex at the lab. (I�d be wary of writing this because I know Nya�s father reads this diary, but I suspect that by now he knows that Nya has sex.) They told us there was in fact a special room for this purpose. We were imagining a cheesy-but-cool honeymoon suite with a rotating bed and stuff. Maybe science can be sexy.
Well. What a letdown. When we got there, we were shown to a crummy little tiny room with plastic furniture and a TV/VCR with a videotape of bad early-80s porn. It even had extremely unflattering fluorescent lighting until we noticed a small incandescent lamp on a side table and killed the overhead.
I�ll go out on a limb and say it was definitely the most unromantic place I�ve ever done it (and this includes a filthy New York subway back stairwell, which at least had the erotic appeal of being dangerous and loach). Still, we stepped up to overcome and did what we had to do. All for the sake of science and medicine.
Sorry if this entry isn�t that exciting; just a recounting of sex in a cold, sterile environment. At least I produced something to be tested. I�ll know the results by the end of the week. Maybe science can in fact be sexy, but it certainly wasn�t this time.
� 2006 Geoff Gladstone
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