2006-01-25 - 2:14 p.m.
I just joined a genealogy website and got an email from a relative I didn�t even know I had. He�s my half-great-great-uncle � I think I got that right. I�d always thought that my great-grandfather was the first generation on my mom�s side to immigrate to America from Italy. But apparently his father, Angelo Michele, came here, followed by his wife and infant son (my great-grandpa Vito). When his wife died, he sent his son back to the old country to be raised by his grandmother.
Then, seemingly before his son returned to America at 19-ish to get married (more on that in a bit), Angelo Michele moved to Toronto and got remarried. The couple had more children later, one of whom is the guy who emailed me. Hence, he�s my great-grandpa�s younger half-brother. He must be quite old � 80s or even 90s. Possibly he�s younger than his nephew, my grandpa Tony (like everyone on that side is named that � in addition to Grandpa Tony, there�s uncle Anthony, uncle Tony, cousin Anthony, other cousin Anthony, cousin-once-removed �A.J.� for Anthony James, and probably others I�m forgetting).
My great-grandpa Vito was alive when I was a baby, but I don�t remember him. Googling his name was how I found the genealogy site. I hit on the text from a booklet printed in 1924 by the Circolo Valvese, a club for immigrants who�d come from the town of Valva. Members bought ads in the book and the money so raised went to pay for a soldier�s statue back in Valva. Grandpa Vito had bought an ad listing his name and �moglie Luigia e figlio Antonio� at an address that no longer exists, having been demolished by the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway.
Grandpa Vito lived in Brooklyn most of his life, but had a tailor shop in Newark, NJ. That�s quite a ways away and his commute must have taken forever in an age before widespread automobiles. It must have been like he had two separate lives in different places. Two separate lives brings me to my main point here. I told the guy who emailed me my favorite story about Vito, cause it�s weirdly amusing and it�s part of family lore. Since I�m sure you really want to hear tales of potential bigamy by my distant ancestors, I�ll share it here.
As I mentioned, Grandpa Vito re-immigrated to America for a marriage to a woman who may have been his second-cousin or his former sewing teacher or something (family history is a little murky here). This woman, Luigia, was 17 or so years older than him, well past prime marrying age at the time. She was apparently considered a �handsome� woman, which I�d imagine was a polite way of saying she was not very attractive. One of her older brothers (called �Zindo� by my own grandpa � Zindo = Zio Antonio) was a well-respected man who sometimes arranged for the immigration of others from his hometown (possibly just relatives).
So Zindo imported my great-grandfather from the old country to marry his sister. Vito was all of 19 when he got off the boat to get married. I�m not sure what neighborhood the couple settled into (my grandpa says they were only at the address listed in the booklet for a few years), but in that area also lived a woman named Laura (Lora?). She may have been a baker and seems to have been closer in age to Vito. He was always hanging around with her (although I�m not sure how he found time for this with his commute to Jersey).
Laura is a somewhat mysterious figure in family tales, although it seems pretty obvious now what was going on. However, carouser he may have been, but Grandpa Vito always took good care of his wife and three sons. I�m not sure what level of awareness they had. Did they not know? Know, but look the other way? Did Luigia know, but not really their kids? And what about Zindo? Did he give a pass to Vito�s running around as long as he provided for his sister? It�s almost tempting to believe that things like this didn�t happen back in the day. But never forget that people in the past weren�t more moral. They were just better dressed.
Although his wife was much older than him, she lived a very long time and didn�t die until Vito was in his 80s. A few years later, he called my mother to ask her to help him move in with �his friend Laura�. My mom thought it was quite sweet that he was moving in with someone at that age. But it was still a little strange. His sons seemed somewhat disapproving, but at a certain age people give you a by to do whatever you want. What could be said and by whom? I think Laura and Vito moved to Wildwood, NJ. He passed away a few years later.
His funeral was held near his old tailor shop in Newark. My mom thought it was odd that it wasn�t near his home in Brooklyn, but of course wanted to pay her last respects to her nonno. Then the priest started eulogizing Vito in depth. According to him, Vito had been a part of the parish for decades. He�d sewn the cloth on the altar. He�d bought flowers for the church every week. Gosh, my mom thought. She hadn�t realized he�d had a whole other life out here. Had she gone to the wrong service? (It happens.)Then a cousin elbowed her in the ribs.
�Look up front next to Laura! That girl sitting next to her is your spitting image!�
After the service, Laura (who�d been in the front pew, shocking Vito�s family as it�s a place usually reserved for direct relatives) introduced the girl as her �niece�. But there was little question she was her daughter by Vito. Laura and �niece� disappeared after the service and I haven�t heard anything more about them. By now, I no doubt have a whole host of half-relatives from her descendants, but I have no idea where they are.
I�m not sure whether to be touched or horrified. None of this came out publicly until Grandpa Vito�s death. Again, he always took good care of his family. But I feel like they must have known what was going on elsewhere. Certainly his wife couldn�t have not noticed. Maybe his kids did too. I want to bring it up with my grandpa, but I�m not sure how to approach the issue. It seems a little rude and direct to say: So Grandpa, how did you feel about your dad having a woman on the side?
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