2008-01-02 - 11:43 a.m.
New Year’s Eve the other night was a little depressing (I’ll get into why in the next entry). To make myself feel better (or something), I’ll recount an amusing event from when 2001 became 2002. Nya complains that I seem to tell this story every New Year’s we’ve been together again, so maybe if I share it with you all, I’ll get it out of my system.
I was at a New Year’s party at a close friend’s house (another friend who was the coxswain in this story also lived there). Champagne, tuxedos, fancy dresses – you know the drill. I believe I was there stag for some reason. We all counted down to midnight and kissed our loved ones and blew those stupid little toy horns. Another year, yay.
About a quarter past midnight, I looked across the room and saw this girl I knew. She had gone to Harvard and was still living around Cambridge. Although I personally had never found her terribly attractive, she had a reputation as a totally smokin’ hottie. She certainly did just exude sexuality. Wanted by all straight men, envied by all women.
Perhaps her crowning moment was when she appeared in the ‘Women of the Ivy League’ issue of Playboy magazine. Before you go searching for the pictures from that or get all huffy about pornography being demeaning (although as I’ve said, Playboy is porn only to people who have never seen real porn): she appeared fully clothed.
For some reason, a group of like 5 girls each from Harvard and Yale appeared in small photos wearing normal clothes and simply smiling in a bunch. That alone made me want to sleep with her. Then I could tell my grandkids I was once with someone who was in Playboy! Then, if grossed out, I can show them the picture of her with her clothes on…
Anyway, when I looked across the room and saw her, my first thought was: man, she’s really let herself go. Not like she had blimped out or developed massive scars or anything. But she was hotness incarnate in college. Now she’s like six-and-a-half years out and she just looks like an ordinary woman. What happened?
Then it occurred to me: man, I didn’t even get twenty minutes into the new year before I had an uncharitable thought… Terrible. Since then, I’m told she’s gotten married and served in the Peace Corps. And I’ve realized that being an “ordinary woman” is precisely what makes for beauty.
Of course, it’s also dawned on me that the ultimate “hotness incarnate” is the Nya I wake up next to every day!
© 2008 Geoff Gladstone
If you’ve ever enjoyed my writing, please donate to the Accelerated Cure Project for Multiple Sclerosis and/or the Montel Williams MS Foundation.
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