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2008-01-02 - 11:43 a.m.

New Year�s Eve the other night was a little depressing (I�ll get into why in the next entry). To make myself feel better (or something), I�ll recount an amusing event from when 2001 became 2002. Nya complains that I seem to tell this story every New Year�s we�ve been together again, so maybe if I share it with you all, I�ll get it out of my system.

I was at a New Year�s party at a close friend�s house (another friend who was the coxswain in this story also lived there). Champagne, tuxedos, fancy dresses � you know the drill. I believe I was there stag for some reason. We all counted down to midnight and kissed our loved ones and blew those stupid little toy horns. Another year, yay.

About a quarter past midnight, I looked across the room and saw this girl I knew. She had gone to Harvard and was still living around Cambridge. Although I personally had never found her terribly attractive, she had a reputation as a totally smokin� hottie. She certainly did just exude sexuality. Wanted by all straight men, envied by all women.

Perhaps her crowning moment was when she appeared in the �Women of the Ivy League� issue of Playboy magazine. Before you go searching for the pictures from that or get all huffy about pornography being demeaning (although as I�ve said, Playboy is porn only to people who have never seen real porn): she appeared fully clothed.

For some reason, a group of like 5 girls each from Harvard and Yale appeared in small photos wearing normal clothes and simply smiling in a bunch. That alone made me want to sleep with her. Then I could tell my grandkids I was once with someone who was in Playboy! Then, if grossed out, I can show them the picture of her with her clothes on�

Anyway, when I looked across the room and saw her, my first thought was: man, she�s really let herself go. Not like she had blimped out or developed massive scars or anything. But she was hotness incarnate in college. Now she�s like six-and-a-half years out and she just looks like an ordinary woman. What happened?

Then it occurred to me: man, I didn�t even get twenty minutes into the new year before I had an uncharitable thought� Terrible. Since then, I�m told she�s gotten married and served in the Peace Corps. And I�ve realized that being an �ordinary woman� is precisely what makes for beauty.

Of course, it�s also dawned on me that the ultimate �hotness incarnate� is the Nya I wake up next to every day!

� 2008 Geoff Gladstone

If you�ve ever enjoyed my writing, please donate to the Accelerated Cure Project for Multiple Sclerosis and/or the Montel Williams MS Foundation.

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