2008-01-25 - 1:04 p.m.
So J. is Janet. Although I actually used to call her �J.� most of the time back in the day. I think that�s from where I took the idea of referring to my other exes by the first letter of their name in my top 5 ex-girlfriends project. Her wedding was back on July 30th.. I know I said I would before, but I�m sorry I�m only just now getting around to recounting it now.
Nya and I flew into National Airport (I refuse to call it by the name of the 1980s president it�s recently been redubbed) right in central Washington, DC, and took a cab to our hotel in the Northwest quadrant. The hotel and our room in it was exceptionally cool. Apparently, another perk of being a crip is that if you requested a wheelchair-accessible room and all the regular ones are booked, you get upgraded to a suite!
It was totally deluxe. Big living room (with ultra-modern furniture), big bedroom (king-size beds feel so luxurious, almost decadent), flat-panel TV that could be turned to face either the living room or the bedroom (we decided watching porn would be an excellent use of such high-tech equipment, but alas we never really had the time), and a ginourmous bathroom with all kinds of linen closets and a roll-in shower.
This shower was actually one of the most amazing parts of our stay. The shower area was just a large open area without a tub or anything (there was a separate tub over to one side) and a fixture in the middle of the ceiling that sprayed water down straight. So the idea was you just rolled under the showerhead in your manual wheelchair (which I had for this trip) and took a shower right there without transferring. Pretty cool.
That first night, we ate with Nya�s dad and his wife (who live in the Maryland suburbs). There was a very fancy restaurant right in the hotel and he bought us dinner there. We all overate of course. The food was really that good. I�m afraid it was so long ago that I can�t remember what I ate for the main course. But we ordered apple pie for dessert because we�d heard it was rated �best� by some DC magazine.
Best of all, we were with people we loved. It finally made me understand the point of saying grace before a meal. Saying grace was not a tradition in our family and I never quite got why others let it get in the way of starting dinner. But I realized there�s huge quantities of great food here, there�s people I love and who love me, and best of all there�s Nya. While I�ve never gone hungry, I�ve had my down times (I was homeless and worse). This was such a beautiful contrast to be thankful for.
The next evening we had the rehearsal dinner for the wedding. It was at Clyde�s, a restaurant apparently located in DC�s Chinatown, but not actually a Chinese restaurant. Janet�s parents were there of course and it�s funny that, while I remember being quite scared of them as a kid, they were really nice to me now. I could speculate that it�s because age mellows people (both them and me) or that it�s hard to be mean to someone in a wheelchair, but I don�t really know.
All the tables had signs naming them after various federal government buildings. Nya and I were assigned to �National Archives�. At first I thought this meant we were like vintage and preserved, but then we realized that everyone seated there was an old friend of Janet�s (most of them were from college or law school though, so I think I might have had the furthest-back history with her).
Janet�s father made an amusing toast in which he said that he didn�t understand what Josh (Janet�s husband the next day) actually did professionally. Come to think of it, I don�t really understand this either. I know he was an archaeology major in college and that he�s still interested in ancient art (that�s why we�re getting the couple a museum membership as a present � although we haven�t bought it yet; sorry). But I also have the vague notion that Josh works for the government and I don�t understand how archaeology can tie into this�
The next morning we had breakfast at that same restaurant in the hotel with my friend Jonathan and his wife Laura, who also live in DC. I believe we all had the grits and remarked on how good they were. It�s always awesome to spend time with Jonathan, one of my oldest friends. He talked about some deals his law firm sent him to Russia to work on. I�m glad he gets to use his Russian language skills for work.
Then we went to the actual wedding ceremony itself, midday in that very hotel. Janet is a pretty observant Jew (actually, I think she was my only serous girlfriend who was Jewish) and once considered becoming a rabbi. The wedding service was very moving and seemed significant to the couple as individuals. This was actually somewhat surprising to me, perhaps because I have immature lingering memories of Jewish ceremonies from my youth as not really meaningful at all.
While I truly think Judaism can be a very moving religion and often draw a lot of significance from it myself, sometimes practitioners sap all the beauty out of it. �Observance� simply becomes a matter of following ritual unconsidered or parroting Hebrew words in a prayer without even knowing what they mean. Then you can pat yourself on the back because you did it �right�. I don�t understand how anyone raised with this empty religious background can be expected to embrace Judaism as an adult.
But their service was very cool. And no, we didn�t play any dopey Bar Mitzvah games at the reception that followed (as my dim fears of �formalized� Jewish ceremony half-feared we would). I asked Janet what museum membership she�d like as a wedding present (I like giving people museum memberships and got Jonathan and Laura one to DC�s Spy Museum). Janet said they actually go up to New York to visit the Met, so I�m getting them a membership there. Sorry it�s been so long coming�
� 2008 Geoff Gladstone
If you�ve ever enjoyed my writing, please donate to the Accelerated Cure Project for Multiple Sclerosis and/or the Montel Williams MS Foundation.
Sign My Guestbook!
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
�
