2007-08-22 - 7:47 p.m.
I just went to my UIC grad school orientation. It made me think a lot about the last time I did academic orientation, at 28. There must have been one at Harvard when I was 18, but I don�t remember it at all. This is part of an essay I�m working on about that:
Within twenty minutes of first arriving on the Brown campus, I managed to scare away a regular-age incoming freshman. I had about an hour before a special orientation meeting for older undergraduates in Faunce House, the central building on the main quadrangle. It was a beautiful, sunny day and I sat down to enjoy it on a bench outside. After a few minutes, a girl sat down next to me. She was cute and blond. She was obviously far younger and I was spoken for anyway, but I figured now was as good a time as any to try interacting with my academic peers.
�Hey,� was my brilliant opening line.
�Hey. What�s up?�
�Well. We�re starting school. I gotta admit, I�m a little nervous.�
�Well, me too.� She shielded her eyes from the sun and peered at me. �Are you a grad student?�
�I guess I look like one. No, I�m starting at the college, same as you.�
�Oh?�
�About 1% of the class is older students like me. I guess some are actually even older, but I haven�t met them yet. I have an orientation meeting in a bit. RUEs. Resumed Undergraduate Education.�
�Oh yeah. I�ve heard of that.� She giggled. �You look kind of dazzled, like this is your first time on campus. I�ve been here a week already for orientation.�
�It basically is my first time here. I came to Providence a few weeks ago to find a place to live. But then I went back to my home in Boston and just took the train here like an hour ago. I guess this is my new home now.�
�You haven�t had all this bond-with-your-classmates stuff?�
�Incoming RUEs don�t have the same orientation schedule as most new students. I mean, we�re grown ups and all. I kind of appreciate it that Brown understands that if we haven�t figured out how to not sexually harass our classmates by now, there�s probably nothing they can say in an hour presentation to change our minds. I don�t think we�d have gotten in here if we were jerks like that anyway.�
She laughed a little, but then opened the book on her lap. I had already noticed the title: Anthology of Great American Poets.
�Reading for class already?�
�No, I just like poetry.�
�Hmm. You should get an actual collection by one of those folks.�
�Well, I just grabbed this off my roommate�s shelf. This was probably her high school text, but I can�t afford a new book that�s not required for a class.�
I looked at the back cover. Some of the poets inside were listed in large type at the top. �You know, I�d argue that some of those authors are only debatably American.�
She squinted at me skeptically.
�I mean, Eliot. I�m a huge fan of �The Waste Land�, but he spent most of his adult life in England. He became kind of crypto-British, like Madonna or something.�
She shaded her eyes, looking rather puzzled. Like, why is this guy spouting off about this? Does he really care that much?
Listening to myself, I was also wondering if I actually felt so strongly. But apparently I couldn�t stop. �And Ezra Pound. Yeah, he was American by birth. But the guy spent his whole life in Europe. Mostly Italy. Hell, he gave speeches defending Mussolini and fascism! He was like the anti-American!�
She was staring slack-jawed by now. �Uhm. Sorry. Look, I should go. Nice meeting you.� She stood and walked away.
I caught my breath for a second. The preposterousness of my ranting hit me. Oof. Had I just chased her away? I sat in the sun for another minute, blinking at my own stupidity. I guess I should work on my socialization skills. Maybe I should go to my meeting early, before I scare off someone else.
I got up and went into Faunce House.
� 2007 Geoff Gladstone
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