2005-06-30 - 5:13 p.m.
I have tickets to go see N. in Denver from July 11th to July 16th. I can�t begin to explain how excited I am. She makes me happier than I�ve ever felt in my life, with anyone. We�ve talked about whether this is just us both getting wound up about anyone we�d have met at this time in our lives, whether we�re just psyched that anyone would have us at a time when each of us is maybe feeling more lonely than we expected.
But we�re quite positive that this is not the case. Personally, I guess, yeah, if I�d met anyone at this point it would have had some positive effect on my life. But not like this. I�ve never experienced anything as magical as this, not before or after disability, not with Alithea, not with the girl who saved me, not ever. I think about her all the time, but not like a high school obsession cause I�m actually thinking of her, not just some abstract idea of being in love.
She also invited me to a family reunion thing in late July in way western New York State. I just got a flight to Buffalo from July 26th to 29th. The event is actually in Lily Dale near Chautauqua, where I spent summers as a very little kid. Her mom and her mom�s husband (the president of Dad�s Dog Food) have a house there.
Lily Dale is apparently a sort of spiritualist community with a lot of mediums and healers running around. Her mom thought I could benefit from some sort of alternative therapy. Her sister-in-law also has MS, so it�s not like totally alien to her. I admit that I�m very skeptical about New Age healing, but I�m going to try and keep an open mind.
I�ve come to understand that, if nothing else, the placebo effect is very much for real. I never really bought the whole mind-body connection until I got sick, that the way you think can have an impact on your physical state. Well, believe it; it�s really the case. I notice it in even small ways, like how when I�m stressed (say from running late or being with my parents), I find myself falling down a lot more and not being able to move nearly as well.
In terms of alternative therapy, this translates as if you even believe it�ll work, it probably will. Now, I tend to be somewhat disbelieving of New Age-y, non-Western traditions when applied to medicine. In a way, this is quite unfortunate. Maybe if I were more tolerant (which I see as �gullible�) and really thought crystals would heal me, well they probably would somewhat.
So I promise to try to let go of some of my cynicism. N.�s cousin is a Chinese herbal doctor and I can�t deny that that�s a tremendous canon of medicine that can be quite effective, although it�s traditionally been dismissed as �unscientific�. Just, no crystals please. Really, I�m touched that her mom even expressed concern for my condition instead of writing me off as unsuitable for her daughter.
I admit that I�m a little nervous about meeting N.�s mom and half-siblings. I knew her dad in high school, with whom she lived, and he was way cool (at least to a 15-year old). But meeting Mom, well, I feel like I�ll have to be on. Funny, charming, smart. Worthy. I mean, her mom asked what my parents do. That seems pretty serious to me.
I hesitate to jinx the next potential trip by bringing it up here. Jake is planning on leaving Denver in August. I think I want to sublet his big LoDo loft for the month with money I�m not sure I can afford, and live with N. I�ve talked to her about this and she also thinks it would be wonderful. Okay, I don�t even care if I can afford it. Money is for making you happy and nothing would make me happier than this.
� 2005 Geoff Gladstone
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