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2005-04-14 - 10:47 p.m.

In my gender studies class on �American Masculinities�, we read a book that looked at Teddy Roosevelt�s take on manhood. He was a really weird guy, a royal freak. He had an almost millennial obsession with �advancing evolution� by leading the �American race� (read white males) to the highest possible civilization. To prove himself worthy of leadership, he felt he must show himself as a paragon of masculine vigor and fitness.

Unfortunately, the press lampooned his effete-seeming upper-class background and very un-masculine image. They nicknamed him �weakling�, �Jane-Dandy�, �Punkin-Lily�, and �the exquisite Mr. Roosevelt� and compared him to Oscar Wilde. As this effeminate persona would curtail his political ambitions, TR embarked on �the strenuous life�. He went hunting in the badlands and recast himself as �the Cowboy of the Dakotas�, which made him much more electable.

He continued a life of supposedly doing more and more tough and rugged deeds. Alas for him, from a historical perspective, most of these things were actually done by black people. Not necessarily American blacks; TR was a geographically diverse exploiter.

(Ironically, TR�s low opinion of African-Americans lead to his endorsement of fair treatment. Since he felt blacks were so inferior that they represented no potential threat to white supremacy, you might as well deal them a fair break. The Japanese, on the other hand, seemed to him like potential competitors as the dominant civilization, so he was all for discrimination against �the Yellow Peril�.)

Anyway, Alithea originally pointed out what a farce TR�s image was, so here�s an expansion on her observation that I find incredibly amusing:

Three things Teddy Roosevelt is famous for that black people actually did:

1. Digging the Panama Canal �
Over 50,000 laborers, most from nearby Caribbean islands, did the actual digging, excavating over a quarter billion tons of earth and rock. Efforts to reduce exposure to malaria and yellow fever were pretty successful, so they actually had a lower mortality rate than those who worked on earlier canal efforts. Still not a detail I would want. These people started a new life far from home to dig for over a decade. But TR generally gets credit for the Eighth Wonder of the World.

2. Taking San Juan Hill �
TR�s exploits as a cavalryman in Cuba during the Spanish-American War were an image-boosting bonanza. He took along his personal publicist to make sure none of his alleged great deeds were missed. TR caught only the tail end of the battle for San Juan Hill. By the time he showed up the hill had pretty much already been overrun by American troops. A combination of regiments fought, but the most heroic and celebrated charge was by the 9th and 10th Cavalry, the Buffalo Soldiers. Dozens fell before TR arrived to claim victory.

3. Hunting big game in Africa �
After his term as the youngest US president (and after Rough Riding and serving as mayor and governor of New York), TR still felt a need to prove his virility. He went on safari to Africa, which he saw as returning to the Pleistocene Age. He would show he was tougher than the ancient fierceness of the beasties there by shooting them (he did in fact bag 269).
However to do this, he felt the need to tote around a lot of personal crap. He brought an extensive literature collection (mostly classics), Earl Grey tea, a big comfy tent of course, and gingersnaps. No, really. Gingersnap cookies. And a bathtub. Yes. He would sit in his bathtub, reading his classics, sipping his tea, and nibbling on gingersnaps. Now that�s rugged!
Carting all this around took sixty bearers. That�s sixty native Africans (I�m afraid I have no idea from what tribe, if it was even recorded) carrying around his stuff so he could shoot animals. He wrote that they called him Bwana Mkuma (Great Chief) and were awed by the American flag he had flown over his tent. That was to his face, of course. They must have been completely baffled by this crazy white man lugging around all this stuff to shoot things. Me too.

TR died of a arterial blood clot at like 60. I suspect apoplexy.

� 2005 Geoff Gladstone

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