2004-10-24 - 10:14 p.m.
Our first date was six years ago today. We had dim sum at a restaurant (China Pearl?) that is now closed and went to a show in a loft in a building that was torn down (on Kingston St.), headlined by a band (Steve Albini's Shellac) that is now defunct. All this was a long time ago. I was a different person. So was she. We spent five and a half years together and we both grew tremendously. I�m unspeakably proud of her now, where she is, who she is. I hope she�s proud of me. This is my prayer, my hope, my dream:
May you come to understand yourself. May you always be conscious of your thoughts and feelings. May you know the reasons behind them. May no one else ever make up your mind for you. With self-comprehension, even you can�t stop you.
May you have a partner who you love and who cares about, respects, and understands you as deeply. May you be head-over-heels, struck-by-a-lightning-bolt, floating-on-air in love, as I felt about you. And may you not essentially need this person. As much as they are able to take care of you, may you be more then able to take care of yourself.
May you reach heaven, a level of grace allowed by brilliant achievement. This is a life right here that I�ve seen, but don�t know if I�ll ever attain myself. You are the most brilliant star I�ve ever known. No one deserves this life more than you.
May you be happy. I pray for this more than anything. All these wishes here are only things I think will lead to your happiness and fulfillment. Maybe I have it all wrong. But when I dream of you, you are smiling (and I�m not sure I ever contributed to your being so happy). A happy you is the most beautiful sight ever, and even if I never see it, it is my greatest hope.
As you once said to me: I love you more than milkshakes and pie combined - you should remember that you are a person of very high quality. I understand that my future doesn�t involve you, not in the same way. But you will always remain my hero and my dream. It was an honor to have spent time with you.
� 2004 Geoff Gladstone
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